Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
