you turned your livingroom into a bong?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
God, I missed his penis.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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