Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
