Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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