He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
