Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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