Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
