Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
