You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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