Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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