and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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