the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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