I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
