just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
