some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
