So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
