it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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