you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
