Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize