i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
