alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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