So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
