So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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