Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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