party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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