I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
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