I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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