i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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