The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
