what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize