So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
