he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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