I am in a vortex of obligation.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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