I'm going to jail i love you
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
