atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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