I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
