Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
