Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
