No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
