You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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