I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
