i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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