i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
