I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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