All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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