C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
