we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
