Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
