If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
