you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
