I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
