go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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