he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Success! We fucked roommates!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
