winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
