we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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