what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
