You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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