VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
