I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
