Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize