I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
